It seems that most of my days lately are spent teaching my kids and then running them around all over the place. They all have somewhere to go and something to do.
It also seems that I spend a tremendous amount of time talking loudly (yelling), and disciplining them. I get so tired of it!
I feel like my mothering skills are shameful because I'm still having to discipline them at the ages of 13, 10 and 7. Shouldn't they have caught on to somethings by now???!!!
But then I remember the times when we drive down the road and laugh with each other. When they all come in our bedroom in the morning and sit on the bed with us. We laugh, talk, and just sit and wake up together. I look at their faces. They have gotten so big. They can no longer lay between Stephen and me. They no longer need me to lay out their clothes or fix their breakfast.
I love them so much. I catch myself smiling and wiping a tear from my eye. We haven't done everything right as parents, probably not the majority of things right. But these kids make me smile. They make my heart fill up with happiness, satisfaction and love until I think it may burst wide open.
I'm in love with these children. I'm so glad God saw fit to give me more than I asked for. When I just wanted three boys but had decided two would be just fine. When I decided that the three boys God had given us were exactly what our family needed to be complete. And then when God gave us a little girl to really complete our family. I'm so glad God knew better than me!
Disclaimer on the ideal family....While writing this I had to discipline one of my children and sent him to his room for the next 2 1/2 hours. There was some yelling, some crying and some huffing and puffing. It wasn't pretty. But I still love him so very much. He doesn't believe me, but maybe one day he will.
Julie
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