Skip to main content

A man I hardly knew

A man I hardly knew died 13 years ago.

At his own hand. He didn't consult me. He didn't consult anyone.

He had known me since my birth. I had known him since I was 12.

We spent 7 weeks together in the 14 years I new him.

I loved him. I love him. I miss him.

He was my biological father. Because of him I have freckles, bigger hips than I would like, and strange looking feet. Because of him I have a family that I love and desire to be with, I have an insatiable appetite for books and I know about unconditional love. Because of him I grew up in a home full of love. I was taught God's love and I shared the last name of everyone in my home.

He left me devastated. But not nearly as devastated as he left his wife and two other children. Those that saw him daily. Those that talked to him everyday and saw his smiling face.
Their lives were changed forever.

My life was changed forever too.

A part of me is missing and always will be. I know what his thoughts were, I know how he was feeling. I read of his desperation and his feeling of not wanting to go on.

I suffered post-partum depression after I had Anna. It was awful. I didn't want to smile, I didn't want to go anywhere, talk to anyone. I didn't want to be friendly. I didn't want to go on.

I understand feeling like there is no hope. It is a terrible feeling. And one that must be addressed. It cannot be allowed to continue. I HAD to tell Stephen how I was feeling. I didn't think he could help, but I knew deep down that I needed to let him know how I was feeling. And you know what? He did help. And helped a lot!

Another thing that helped so much was this verse: Be careful that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deceit based on human tradition, based on the elemental forces of the world, and not based on Christ. Colossians 2:8

I can't tell you how that verse changed my life. Not only helping me fight through what was going on with me after I had Anna, but also helping me deal with Barry's death. God doesn't want us defeated. He wants us victorious!

I have lost two men that I loved to suicide. I know the hurt that it brings. I know the depth of pain that it leaves. But I also know that God doesn't want me to live in a cloud of despair and grief. His desire is for me to live victoriously through all life's circumstances. Good or bad.

If you are hurting today because of this kind of pain, please know that I am praying for you today and throughout the next week. My pain is so real today and will be this week. I will cry and I will want to just lay around and do nothing. But I am determined to go on! To live the best life this week!

Comments

kathy said…
You sure said it perfectly. What a void in our lives. He may not have been perfect but what love he had and gave when he could. You are the best of him for sure. I always called the freckles, love spots. and now all your kids have the love spots too. You are one strong young woman!!! I love you lots. He was proud of you and would be bursting with pride now.
Kelley said…
I will be thinking about you and praying for you.
Anonymous said…
I love you Julie!! You are in my prayers. You are special!

YFA
TBEO
Jodi said…
awww....hugs for you my friend. Prayers for comfort and peace.

Popular posts from this blog

All Aboard The Birthday Polar Express

  Can you believe Henry Patton will be 4 years old tomorrow?! Neither can we. We celebrated his birthday last weekend with his first all boy party, polar express style. I had so much fun preparing for it, as you can probably tell! My mother who is never at a loss for words said it looked like Polar Express threw up in my house. She was SO right and we loved it! We had a breakfast pajama party with 7 three and four year old boys. It was such a fun time.   I had his pajamas monogrammed with a train and his name. He loved them and I liked how they sort of looked like the ones on the movie. Henry loved all the bells I had everywhere. There is no doubt we believe at this house. We had the jingle loud and proud!   I had his invitation made from a shop on Etsy and I was very pleased with them. One of his little friends came to the door ready for me to punch his ticket. It was so cute. I ran to get a hole punch and punched it for him. Every good party has to have go

Meet Shaun

This is my single co-worker and church friend, Shaun. He and I have so much fun bantering back and forth. He takes what I dish out and scoops it right back up and hands it back to me. He is a keeper for that and many other reasons, which I will share on this post. He was kind enough to allow me to highlight him on Kelly’s Korner http://www.kellyskornerblog.com/ for her singles link up. His last words to me about this were, “ This better not be an embarrassment! ” I trust I will do my best to make it not be, but I make no promises! The first thing you need to know about Shaun is that he loves Jesus and the Boston Red Sox . He asked Jesus into his heart at age 8 and is still seeking and serving him today at age 26. Shaun graduated from Arkansas State University with a degree in digital media and design. When he is not busy creating masterpieces for our customers he is hiking, watching the Red Sox , playing basketball, horsing around at the lake or beach, and watching movies. He is fu

He's home!

I know you didn't know my dear husband was out of town. I decided not to post such information. I get scared enough as it is, I sure didn't want to advertise the information. Yes, you read correctly, I get scared. Before we had children, and well, even after Samuel was born, I would stay with a friend of mine when Stephen was gone overnight. When we moved from that town I didn't have anyone to stay with, so I would just sit up and watch tv all night. Fear kept me awake. Isn't that silly? Well, it didn't seem so at the time, but when I look back on it now it seems silly. That is until I have to be without a manly-man in the house. I'm telling you what, I hear every noise, sound, creak, croak. It's awful. Sunday night (the first night) while I was lying AWAKE in my bed I was praying and telling God that I knew He didn't want me to be fearful and that I knew there were many verses in the Bible that told of His being with me at nighttime . I just couldn'